Obama Does a Little Christmas Shopping on "Small Business Saturday"

CBS news reported that President Barack Obama and his two daughters were doing a little Christmas shopping last night at an “independent, neighborhood, small business” book store.  Because this qualifies as news, here is a photo of the event:

The president rather cockily commented on his superior shopping style to his wife’s, stating “Michelle, she can go wandering around forever.  I like knowing what I’m coming in here for.” (CBS News).            

Here’s a picture of the president "consulting his Blackberry for an apparent holiday wish list" (CBS News):

Here’s a video of the president shopping:

One local reaction to the president’s trip to “One More Page Books” book store in Arlington, Virginia was “I WENT TO THAT STORE ONE TIME! ERMAHGERRRRRD!”  Another commented, "I like Obama, he reads books.  I also read books."  Here's a picture of the president buying books:

 

The president made this appearance to support some sort of “Small Business” event.

Or whatever. 

Here's a photo of President Obama shopping with his dog:

Twinkie Maker Hostess Reaches the End of the Line

When one thinks of America, a very special pastry comes to mind.  A symbol of innocents and family values, of childhood and care-free living.  I am speaking of course of the beloved Twinkie.  For centuries the Twinkie and other Hostess goodies have ruled over rivaling snack foods (not factually of course as Hostess has “filed for Chapter 11 protection in January, its second trip through bankruptcy court in less than three years”).  However, this mascot of the American Dream seems to not simply be stepping down from its junk-food throne, but instead committing very deliberate suicide.  My fellow bloggers, the Twinkie has given up.  It’s simple, immaculate image cannot compete with today’s “sexy snacks”, such as the Oreo and Pop-Tarts.  The future consequences of the Twinkie’s extinction are not fully appreciated at this juncture, though they will most likely be catastrophic.  America will have to adopt another immortal treat appropriate for bomb shelters and “in case of apocalypse” kits, and honestly I don’t think any other snack has what it takes.

$6 Billion Spent on Campaign

As I am sure most of you have heard, about $6 billion was said to have been spent on the 2012 presidential campaign.  I'm also sure this frustrates most Americans to tears.  According to the Huffington Post, a majority of that spending can be accredited to over 1 million presidential ads aired over the course of 5 months.  Many may be thinking, "Hey!  I could buy 858 million six-packs of Budweiser with that kind of money!”, and indeed you could, research suggests.  I’m sure many of you are begging modern science and technology to rationalize this phenomenon, “WHY, SIRI?!” you plead to your myriad of Apple products, “WHY DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN?!” But Siri does not have the answer.  Luckily, I have a proposal that will satisfy the needs of both the politicians who are becoming accustomed to this frivolous spending, as well as the confused, weeping masses.  A seemingly endless amount of money can continue to be put toward any election; however, all presidential elections will be funded solely by profits attained through bake sales.  Effective immediately.

Obama, Romney Have Four Days to Seal the Deal

President Barack Obama and Governor Mittens Romney appear to be grasping at straws in an attempt to prove their superiority in these final four days.  It is fair to say that President Obama has lot of good meows and will continue to implement those meows in the future.  While Romney is focused more on meow as opposed to meow, and wants an aggressive, “quick fix” meow in order to repair the economy.    President Obama seems to be making use of invaluable meows from well-known republicans to attract meows from undecided voters.  Romney is going on the offensive, claiming that his meows are better than the meows of the president.  “We don’t need a ‘Secretary of Meow’ to understand meow.  We need a president who understands meow, and I do.”  At this point, the election seems to be more about meow and less about what Americans really need: meow.